Unco expertise

Someday I think I am going to make something up, just for the heck of it, to see if people will believe it.  Something like, "Want to cure everything that has ever plagued you?  From gum disease to bowl cancer to depression all you have to do is ingest 30 pounds of corn husks a day!"  Then, I will say something like, "big pharma doesn't want you to know about this."  or "The CIA has known about this technique for years, but you know, the CIA.  CIA!"  Finally, I will slap on a "wake up, people." or "Open your eyes."  I haven't decided which, but I sometimes think it would be helpful if I had more face or more palm.  Perhaps both.